


Forever

by wesleyfanfiction_archivist



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-06
Updated: 2006-07-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 10:22:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6466546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wesleyfanfiction_archivist/pseuds/wesleyfanfiction_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wesley and Giles discuss their relationship after the hs blows up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Versaphile, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [WesleyFanfiction.net](http://fanlore.org/wiki/WesleyFanFiction.Net). Deciding that it needed to have a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact the e-mail address on [WesleyFanfiction.net collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wesleyfanfiction/profile).

Wesley watched Giles pace the floor at the foot of his bed. Various doctors and nurses came and went for a half an hour, all taking his pulse, asking inane questions, jotting down information on his charts, and telling him that lime jello was being served with dinner that evening before they were finally alone. 

Giles watched the door quietly slide shut, a faint click engaging as the door caught the lock. He removed his glasses to clean them, moving to the side of the bed and leaning closer to kiss Wesley warmly on the mouth. “See, I told you that you would live.” He said jovially, smiling at his lover.

Wesley smiled wanly back. “Yes. Yes you did. And I appreciate that, you being my colleague and all.”

Giles slid his spectacles back on his face. “Appearances sake.” He replied.

“I understand.” Wesley answered, not understanding at all. “The high school blows up, there are countless casualties, the mayor turned into a giant demon snake, and you are worried that someone will know that you and I shag.” 

Wesley watched Giles’ eyes tick up to the door to be sure no one was entering. He sighed, pulling the cream colored blanket up higher. “No one heard me, no one knows.”

“Wesley….be reasonable. You know that neither one of our families would approve, I don’t even know what I would say to the children. I am something of a father figure to them.” Giles cajoled, rubbing Wesley’s hand.

“Yes, of course. Because you can’t possibly make good decisions or impart advice if you like fucking men.” Wesley spit out angrily.

Giles blinked owlishly. He rarely heard Wesley curse, even less heard him use swearing of this caliber. He was really upset, not just pouting and looking for attention. “Wesley, you know that I love you.” Giles said quietly, leaning closer. 

Wesley’s eyes filled with tears. “I know that you have said that, I know you even seem to mean it some of the time, but you do not back it up with action. You won’t share a life with me; you won’t tell anyone that we are involved. You want to continue the charade of me as your witless foil, while covering me with kisses as soon as there is no one to see.” 

Giles’ mouth worked as he tried again. “I don’t know what you want from me. Wesley, please, tell me what will make you happy.”

“Nothing you can give me.” Wesley said, his breath catching as he realized why he had even started this conversation in the first place, and where it was leading. “We can’t be together the way I want. And you have given me all you are capable of. We are at an impasse.”

“No. I don’t want to hear that!” Giles said, his voice raising as he squeezed Wesley’s hand tightly. “I don’t want you to do this, please don’t do this!”

“I have to.” Wesley whispered, the words barely coming out of his closing up throat. “It will only be worse if we keep on this way. The joy I used to feel whenever I heard your voice on the line, or felt your touch, has been replaced by a nagging dread and sorrow in my heart. It won’t leave no matter what I do. There is nothing left to hold onto.”

“Bloody hell, Wesley, just last night you told me you would love me forever, you shared my bed all night, you fought by my side today, how can you do this to us?” Giles demanded, wanting to throttle the man in front of him while at the same time he wanted to kiss the tears off his pale cheeks.

“I meant every word, Rupert. Every word. I will love you until the day I die. But I can’t be with you anymore.” Wesley spoke the words with finality, pulling his hand away. “When I am released, I am leaving Sunnydale. You won’t have to worry about bumping into each other.”

“Where will you go? You don’t have a job, and you yourself said that your father said you could not return home.” Giles said, looking for a practical reason they could stay together.

“It doesn’t matter. If I stay, I’ll grow to hate you, and I don’t want that. I can’t bear that. I’ll drop you a line to let you know I am safe.” Wesley shuddered, taking a tissue from the small nightstand and blowing his nose. “Take care of yourself , Rupert. I hope you find what you are looking for.”

Giles stood up ramrod straight, angry and hurt. “I will, believe you me. Casanova will have nothing on me. And she’ll be beautiful, smart, mother of my children, not a whiny, selfish, jealous, immature prat who thinks we should have a bleeding pride parade down Main Street. Goodbye, Wesley.” 

Wesley didn’t reply. He watched the man he loved walk out of the room, and out of his life, his heart breaking into a thousand pieces in his chest. He was never really able to put them all back together properly. He realized of course that he had left several of them in Sunnydale, and as he never went back there, it was impossible not to have the gaping wound in his heart, a chill wind blowing through it for five long years.

He did send a postcard, from the Hyperion; an old one from the 1950’s he had found in his desk and thought Rupert would appreciate. He never got a reply. He and Rupert never corresponded or spoke after that day in the hospital. Both remembered every word spoken. Both reached for the slim black phones by their beds in the night, and shut off the urge with alcohol, other sex partners, and research. Neither ever felt better. 

***

The call came in the middle of the night, as these things always seem to. Giles was woken from a half-drunk sleep, fumbling for the telephone. “Yes?” He said, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

It wasn’t Buffy or Andrew, like he expected, but a voice almost forgotten. Angel. “I’m sorry to call so late, but Illyria has been insistent. This is the first time I’ve had a chance. I’m sorry.” Angel said, his ‘I’m sorry’ setting off alarm bells in Giles’ head. 

“What’s wrong with Wesley?” He blurted, his heart cold with dread. “Is he sick?”

There was a long pause, and the sound of a scuffle, he may have heard crying as well, but he wasn’t certain. A cold, emotionless female voice replaced Angel’s. “Wesley is dead. His last words were of you.”

Giles sat up, feeling like he had taken a sledgehammer in the stomach. “Wesley is dead?” He repeated. 

“He said ‘I still love you Rupert, forever.’ before he died in my arms. I have now imparted this information, as he would have wanted. We need no further words. Goodbye.” The line went dead. Rupert looked at it in the dark room for a long time, as if somehow he could sit here long enough and things would change. Of course nothing did, and he went to stand by the window, drinking scotch out of a bottle and watching the sky turn from black night to gray dawn, the rain coming down the windows, mimicking the tears that stained his cheeks.

***

The funeral was small, quiet, and almost unattended. The gravediggers put his body in the ground by sunset, and Angel and Spike came to pay respects. There was an odd blue-haired woman with them, whom Giles took to be the woman he had spoken to on the telephone, but her eyes flicked over him dismissively before leaving with the vampires. Rupert knelt on the damp earth, looking at the numbered sign put up by the gravedigger where a headstone would eventually go. The Pryces had agreed to pay for a small marker, dignified and inexpensive, just a name and date of death. Arrangements were made, and Giles had told them he would make sure it was done properly. They seemed relieved they did not have to come. 

Giles dug through his coat pocket, pulling out the small black box he had purchased from a jeweler that morning. The woman had been jovial, full of smiles. “Good luck on your commitment ceremony!” She chirped as she placed the matching gold bands in the box. “Your boyfriend is a lucky guy!”

He slipped one on his finger, the weight of it comforting, not suffocating as he imagined. The other he pushed down into the ground, the rich smell of earth filling his nose, covering it with more dirt and lovingly patting it down to its previous smoothness. “I’ll love you forever, too, Wesley.” Giles swore, wishing against hope that this was a bad dream and he could put that ring on Wesley’s finger instead. He closed his eyes for several minutes, breathing shallowly, his shoulders tight with prayer. A warm breeze blew over him, rustling the surrounding trees, but Wesley remained dead and six feet underneath his bent knees, lost to him in this life. “I will love you forever.”


End file.
